Young People and Anxiety: Knowing When to Get Help
Anxiety in young people is more common than most people realise. And it's often less visible than you'd expect. Young people and anxiety often go together quietly, without anyone quite naming it.
It doesn't always look like visible fear. It can look like school refusal, anger, withdrawal, physical illness, or simply a slow disappearance from the things and people that used to matter. The young person themselves might not have the word "anxiety" for what they're experiencing — just a persistent sense that things feel too much.
This post is for young people trying to understand what they're going through, and for the adults around them who are trying to help.
What Is Anxiety, and Is It Normal?
Anxiety is the body and mind's response to perceived threat. And in young people, during a period of life already packed with change, uncertainty, and intense social pressure, some anxiety is completely normal.
The nervous system of a young person is still developing. The prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain that regulates emotional responses and helps you put things in perspective — isn't fully developed until the mid-twenties. That means young people genuinely experience emotions more intensely, and have less neurological capacity to regulate them, than adults do.
But there's a point where anxiety moves from normal and manageable to something that's getting in the way of life. That's when support becomes important.
Young People and Anxiety: What It Looks Like
The signs of anxiety in young people are easy to miss, partly because they overlap with ordinary adolescent behaviour, and partly because young people are often not great at naming what they feel.
Signs to look out for include:
Avoiding school or certain situations they used to manage
Stomach aches, headaches, or other physical symptoms with no medical cause — particularly before school or social events
Difficulty sleeping, or sleeping much more than usual
Withdrawal from friends, family, or activities that used to bring them joy
Irritability, mood swings, or short-temperedness that feels disproportionate
Excessive worrying about performance, friendships, the future, or family
Seeking a lot of reassurance — "is everything going to be okay?" asked repeatedly
Perfectionism or an intense fear of making mistakes
Physical restlessness, difficulty sitting still, or the opposite — appearing frozen or flat
And for some young people, anxiety shows up as anger. When the internal experience is overwhelming and there isn't language for it, anger is often the exit. A young person who seems mostly angry may actually be mostly frightened.
When Does Anxiety Become a Problem?
Anxiety becomes worth taking seriously when it's stopping them from doing things they want or need to do, consistently affecting their sleep, eating, or physical health, or when school attendance is suffering.
If a young person is expressing thoughts of self-harm or suicide, this needs urgent attention. Contact your GP, call NHS 111, or go to your nearest A&E. The Samaritans are available free and confidentially on 116 123, 24 hours a day.
What Causes Anxiety in Young People?
There's rarely one single cause. Anxiety in young people tends to build from a mix of factors.
Temperament matters — some young people are simply more sensitive and alert to threat. Pressures and expectations play a role: academic pressure, social comparison, and the relentless performance culture of secondary education can be genuinely overwhelming.
Family stress, earlier experiences, and the lasting impact of the pandemic years all contribute too. A generation of young people lost significant developmental years during a period of genuine global threat.
How Counselling Helps Young People
Counselling for young people is not the same as counselling for adults. A skilled therapist who works with this age group adapts their approach to fit the young person in front of them — using creative techniques, practical exercises, play elements, or simply a different kind of conversation.
The goal is to help the young person understand what they're feeling, develop skills for managing it, and feel less alone with it.
Many young people find that having a space that's genuinely theirs — not their parents', not their school's — makes it possible to say things they couldn't say anywhere else. And that, often, is the beginning of things getting better.
Counselling for Young People in Dorset
Wellbeing Practice works with children and young people across all three Dorset locations — Wimborne, Poundbury, and Ashley Cross, Poole. Online sessions are available too. Our therapists who work with young people are trained in age-appropriate approaches and experienced in the specific pressures young people face today.
The initial assessment session is £48. Ongoing fees are agreed with your therapist, and concessions are available.
Frequently Asked Questions
Young people and anxiety: how do I know if it needs professional help?
Some anxiety in young people does ease with time and the right support at home. But if the anxiety has been going on for more than a few weeks, is consistently affecting school, friendships, or daily life, or if the young person themselves says they want help — it's time to seek professional support. Earlier is better.
Can a young person go to counselling without their parents knowing?
The rules around consent and confidentiality vary by age. In general, young people aged sixteen and over can consent to counselling themselves. Below that age, parental consent is usually required. The therapist will discuss confidentiality arrangements with both the young person and their parents at the start.
Will counselling make a young person's anxiety worse by talking about it?
No. Good therapy with young people is carefully paced and supportive. Talking about anxiety in a safe, skilled therapeutic relationship tends to reduce its power, not amplify it. Young people are not made more anxious by naming what they're experiencing — quite the opposite.
What if the young person refuses to go?
Some young people are resistant to counselling, particularly if they feel it's being imposed on them. It can help to give them some ownership — letting them choose the therapist, the format, or whether to try it once before deciding. Keeping the option open and low-pressure tends to work better than ultimatums.
Does anxiety in young people need medication?
That's a decision for a GP or psychiatrist to make, not a counsellor. For mild to moderate anxiety in young people, psychological approaches like CBT are generally the first-line recommendation. For more severe anxiety, medication may be considered alongside therapy. A GP can advise.
