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Self-Awareness - coping with Anxiety, building Confidence and Resilience.

Updated: Sep 9, 2022

Here we look at ways to expand your self-awareness in both your personal setting and when mixing with people in public view.


Self-awareness begins in our childhood, it develops as we get older and experience life in it various settings of personal and community self-awareness.

Your personal (or internal) self-awareness refers to your awareness surrounding your values, choices, and goals and how they impact other people.

Community (or external) self-awareness is an understanding of how others perceive you.

When you have high internal self-awareness, you react less and approach your feelings with curiosity. For example, when you are angry, you might get curious and try to understand why, rather than immediately reacting.

If you have high external self-awareness, you understand your interactions with others and what is required to deepen connections and adhere to social rules.

Working towards a high level of self-awareness offers many benefits such as:

• The ability to positively control outcomes to some degree.

• The ability to build flourishing relationships.

• It increases your sense of wellbeing and overall happiness.

• Helps to open your mind to reducing biases and assumptions.

• Affords you the opportunity to normalise emotions and reactions.

• Is a key factor in decreasing stress and anxiety.

Lacking self-awareness can lead to struggling to view situations, actions, or choices objectively; often resulting in conflict at work or in your personal life.

You may be lacking in self-awareness if you fear:

  • The effects and experiences of change.

  • The outcome if you are wrong.

  • The impact of facing truths.

  • Your inner response when sharing feelings or being vulnerable.

Self-awareness is noted as closely linked with emotional intelligence and thus can be increased and enhanced. But to gain emotional intelligence, you need greater awareness.

Here are five key factors to consider when developing your Emotional Intelligence:

  1. Your perception of yourself (Self-Concept), is derived from your experiences, beliefs about yourself, and life goals.

  2. Your thoughts impact your feelings, so exploring why you have certain thoughts (and how you can change them) greatly improves self-awareness.

  3. Being aware of your Feelings, When you feel a certain way, explore what thoughts you are having. Your feelings are real, but they do not always reflect the entire truth.

  4. Connect with your physical Body. You must be self-aware to recognise the physical sensations associated with your feelings and reactions and connect them with why you are experiencing those feelings.

  5. Before you enter a situation, take note of your emotional state to increase your awareness of your reactions and feelings.

So, what can you do to improve your self-awareness?

It will take practice, but if you apply these suggestions, over time you will see an improvement:

  1. Use a notebook or journal to track your thoughts, and record and explore your emotions and feelings.

  2. Read and explore information that can help with strategies.

  3. Explore your thoughts and feelings in a safe environment with a counsellor.

  4. Become curious about your feelings and emotional states and start to link how you feel with your body’s sensations.

  5. Ask loved ones or co-workers for honest feedback.

  6. Meditate or practice other mindfulness activities.

  7. Write down your goals and priorities and identify ways to achieve them.

  8. Establish a clear vision of how you want life to be.

  9. Clarify your values.

  10. Practice thought-challenging when you think about yourself in a negative way. Re-frame those thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts.

With improved self-awareness, you will feel more self-assured and capable of acting appropriately in challenging situations.

Here is a way to help you build your Self-awareness.

Using the downloadable chart for the next 14 to 21 days to track your thoughts and feelings.

Each time you encounter a challenging situation or find yourself thinking negative thoughts about yourself, write down the date, what happened, the associated thoughts and feelings, and your emotional state. Then, write down what you did…

Click the button to receive your Free Self-Awareness Worksheet

By clicking this button you will be taken to a new page where we will ask for your Name and Email address, after which the worksheet will become downloadable.


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